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Monday, 11 July 2016

Why You Should Never Compare Yourself To Someone Else

Untitled Comparisons start early on. Just think about it. At Primary school Sophie has nicer hair than you, her parents let her stay out later than you're allowed and her mum takes her shopping once a week for a new dress. And it doesn't really stop. So and so will have a better house than you, a better car and a better a job. But who the hell says it's better? The only person putting value on that is you.

With visual platforms like Instagram showcasing the highlights of our lives we're bound to feel tinges of jealousy right? And with the pressure to climb the ladder whether socially, for work or financially always present, it can be a claustrophobic life.

I've friends who feel they're a ticking clock and that by XX age they should be married followed by children straight away. Says who? Because 90% of Facebook get engaged within a year or two of knowing each other?! Do it when you're ready. Do it because you want to. Never feel forced into a decision or a big change because of what everyone else is doing. Who says they're happy? What works for one person won't work for all - life ain't a 'one size fits all' job.

A few months ago I was asked when I'd be 'settling down' and I found it a little offensive that that was and is a lot of people's prerequisite to what would make someone happy. Not everyone needs a relationship or someone with them constantly to be complete. Some people get that wholeness purely by being alone, or having a great job or the best circle of friends and family. And if you don't want to be alone, that's cool too.

It's the same with blogging too. Compared to when I started, it's such a saturated market now. There's always going to be bigger and better blogs than yours. And if that isn't the case, there's hundreds of new ones popping up on the scene everyday so sadly, you'll always be old news to someone but to others your blog will be the best damn thing they've ever read. Be validated on your own terms. What's the value of a like? Blog for you, blog because you want to, get married when you want to, switch jobs because you want to, not because Emily from accounts just got the biggest pay rise by jumping ships. Buy the house you want to when you're ready, not because Sarah's new two piece next to her feature fireplace in the lounge is just GOALS. I think you get my drift.

A good friend of mine recently told me something. He said he wanted what I had: happiness and to be content. Whilst it goes against everything I've just ranted on about, that's one thing to compare yourself to other people for: the want to be happy. Life's too short to be anything but. How you define happiness is up to you. But comparing you and your life to someone else's? That's a one way path to unhappiness.

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