I find 'sorry' a funny word. Maybe you're like me and find yourself saying it on the daily. Heck, even overusing it. Not realising someone was behind you and shutting the door on them - sorry. Bumping into someone - sorry. Eating the last biscuit - sorry. Yet sometimes, as Elton John once sang, it can be the hardest word. Because when it's meaningful and coming properly from within, it's hard to swallow your pride and admit you were wrong.
Mark Matthews hit the nail on the head when he wrote about this. Some people view apologising as a weakness however it actually shows strength of character to admit that hey, you're not perfect but you can let your guard down a little and make amends. Because "apologising does not always mean you're wrong and the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego."
So that makes apologies one of two: genuine apologies or ones to save face and you've probably dished out a fair few of the two. And I'm not too sure which one is harder to execute. No-one likes admitting they were wrong. But sometimes it's the only way forward. It's like agreeing to disagree - you might not want to do it, but will it mean you lead a more peaceful life through it? Probably.
Sometimes you can wait years to either give or receive an apology but guess what? It's never too late, and it can undo years of damage. Even if you're not ready to physically say it, writing it down can lift a huge weight off of your shoulders. I once wrote a three page letter to at the time, an ex friend, listing all the reasons I was sorry. Was it horrible reading it out loud and 'baring my soul'? - hell yes, but is she back in my life now? Yes. So it was worth it.
Hopefully you won't have to apologise for much in your life, but it's okay to admit you're sorry because it also makes you human. For me - I'm sorry for many things. I'm sorry for sometimes putting my job first, for not keeping a check on how all of my friends and family are doing. I'm sorry for being a sh** friend at the moment, for being in my city centre bubble that I forget about more important things, for always being a little rose tinted about life when I probably should allow myself to feel a little sad too. I'm sorry for being dramatic when someone hurts me or for hiding my feelings from those who probably felt they didn't mean much to me - guess what? You did. You meant the world to me. I'm sorry for not telling people how I felt, for pretending I didn't care when I actually did and for losing people I loved.
Maybe one day I'll execute all of these apologies, but for now - that'll do. Baby steps y'know?