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Saturday, 22 September 2018

The Art Of Not Settling


How many times in your life are you asked to settle? If you Google it, you'll get to "agree or accept to something that one considers to be less than satisfactory."

It implies giving up and gliding along with an okay life. And that's not okay. You deserve the best kind of life, one that challenges you, changes you and grows you physically, mentally and spiritually. Settling ain't in that dictionary. And it can happen in any and every aspect of your life.

It can happen in your career, maybe where you're living, the friendships you have or the ambitions you've been building on. Hands up if you've had the "I just want you settled" or the deadline panic of "when are you settling down?" thrown your way. As if implying that when this rainbow sunshine day comes, your world will be turned upside down and no harm will ever come your way. As if up until this point your life is never really whole or complete. And for me, herein lies the problem. The word itself. It doesn't mean to, but it insinuates an action not entirely pleasant. Whereas, in reality, people may have 'settled' but it's a choice they made or a path they happily took, not a mandatory decision forced on them by society to tick a box.

'Settle' for laugh out loud days, smiling from ear to ear, heart stopping moments and anything that makes you pause for a second and go, "yes I bloody love my life." Don't settle for a crappy job, crappy people or a crappy relationship. Don't settle for crappy food or a crappy film - switch that thing off and upgrade to something better. Don't settle for waiting for tomorrow, do it now. Don't settle for not being open with your feelings, the 'what ifs' will kill your soul much more.

Don't settle because people tell you to or because society expects you to. I've witnessed many friends move across the globe to go chase their dreams, leave relationships that weren't fulfilling them, find themselves and pick themselves up and start again. Change can be scary. Not doing what everyone expects or wants you do to can be too, but it's always worth it. If anything you'll grow as a person and learn from the experience. Settle for the good things and not the bad. The word 'settle' in my eyes, despite the dictionary definition, can equate to two very different outcomes. Choose to settle for what you want. When you want it. And choose to not settle when it's not right too.

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